Our office manager sent an email to the whole company: “Whoever keeps stealing my yogurt from the fridge, I know who you are.”

Ten minutes later a second email from her: “Please ignore the previous message.”

Ten minutes after that, a reply-all from the CFO: “Sorry, Linda. It was really good yogurt.”

He brought her a whole case the next morning. Best email chain of the year.

My son’s teacher asked the class to write a sentence using the word “honestly.”

My son wrote: “Honestly, my dad did this homework.”

He got an A for honesty. I got a C for the rest of the worksheet.

I set up a smart speaker in the kitchen and proudly showed my dad.

— Ask it anything, I said.

Dad leaned in and very politely asked: “Excuse me, do you know where my glasses are?”

The speaker said it didn’t know. Dad nodded, satisfied: “See? Useless. Your mother at least pretends to look.”

The glasses were on his head.

I work from home, and my cat has learned that when I sigh loudly at the laptop, I’m about to get up for coffee.

So now every time I open my inbox she runs to the kitchen and waits by the bowl.

She’s right about 90% of the time. Honestly, better forecasting than our finance team.

My grandma finally figured out voice messages. Now I get three-minute recordings that go like this:

— Hello? Is it recording? Mark, look, is it recording? Oh, the red thing. Hello, sweetie. Call me.

So I call her. She doesn’t pick up, because she is busy recording the next one.